IUI

Okay, I wasn't going to write about this because I've been having my own little pity party all week and I'm kinda over it now...but, several people have asked me to update and since I kinda use this as a journal and an outlet I would like to write a little something. Austin and I went for our first round of IUI two weeks ago. We found out just a few days ago that it failed. We're not giving up (though I feel like I want to) because we're just scratching the surface. One attempt does not mean it's all over but it's still pretty devastating. It's just such an emotional rollercoaster. I am a HOT MESS these days, ha ha. We'll try again in a month and let ya know how it goes, or maybe I'll just let ya know when we're finally successful. We're selling our house so we can afford IVF so if you know anyone looking for a nice house in the Indian Hills area, let me know. I love you all. It's the love of my friends and family that keep me going, even when I push you away. I never realized the depth and range of emotions I would feel. I go from depressed to angry, sad and bitter on a daily basis. Is there anything I can take for that? Because I'm ready to try anything!

You know, just because you understand why, doesn't mean you have to like it.

It's a "New Moon"

We did it again! We rented a theater for the next installment in the Twilight movie series, "New Moon". It all started way back in April. My sister Gina had told me that she knew someone who already rented a theater for this movie and was already selling tickets. I couldn't believe it because it was 6 or 7 months before the movie! After talking about it with a few people I decided to call the events coordinator who helped me on the last movie. She told me that not only have people already been renting movie theaters for New Moon, but they were already almost sold out for opening day! Of course I went ahead and reserved our theater and that started our crazy 6 month journey of selling tickets and preparing for our private New Moon screening. We had a blast! There is something about watching a movie with a theater full of people you know, or at least know love the series. We ended up selling EVERY SINGLE seat in the house! Which made it even more fun.

We had cardboard cut-outs of the main characters that the girls could put their faces through and pretend to be Bella. Gina and I couldn't resist! Ha Ha!

Everyone getting settled in.

I had a great time giving out prizes and throwing out New Moon themed candy.

My mom threw an after party and it was a HUGE success! Our neighbor Deanne made these wolf cupcakes. Aren't they awesome!! I couldn't bring myself to eat one.

Some friends enjoying the after party.

Amanda, me, mom, Gina....the people who made it all happen!

Thanks everyone for making it memorable once again!! We're already planning Eclipse!

Our Twi-Venture!

You know, I used to be cool. Then Twilight entered my life. At first I was one of "those people" who wouldn't read it just because everyone else was. I had no idea what it was even about. Then one day I was at the airport getting ready to fly to New Orleans to visit Austin who was working out there at the time. I decided to read a book on the 4 hour flight instead of go for the usual gossip magazines. So, I bought a copy of Twilight since so many people had recommended it and it was everywhere in the airport. Needless to say I was "sucked in" (hee hee) from chapter 1, read half of it on the way to New Orleans, and polished it off on the way back. Since Austin was going to be out of town for another couple weeks I ended up reading the next two books in the series which is all that was out at the time. Now look at me, I'm one of "those girls". I'm hosting private screenings for the movies and taking trips to Forks, WA, the place the books are set in. Ha ha, I just gotta laugh at myself.
It all started when Gina told me her friend was planning a trip to Forks to tour all the Twilight spots. At first I almost didn't do it, then at the last minute I decided "why not". I am so glad I went! We had so much fun! I got to really connect with my sister Gina. The girl cracks me UP! We no sooner settled into our seats on the plane then Gina grabbed a barf bag out from the back of the seat in front of her and turned to her friends to say, "I'm a puker." Her two friends sitting across the aisle, along with half the plane, including myself, leaned away in disgust as Julie and Keri simultaneously asked, "Really?" "No", Gina replied with a semi straight face while casually placing the barf bag back where it came from. Everyone from two rows in front of us to two rows in back of us erupted in laughter. I was laughing internally for long after the joke was made a little awe inspired by my cute sisters quick wit. And that's how the whole trip was. Her two friends, Julie and Keri, were so cute and hilarious! The dynamic between the four of us was great and we all fed off each other's energy...even though I became known as the longest sleeper of the group. Hey, when you get up at 4:30 in the morning every day for work, you learn to get sleep whenever you can, and it was a VACATION!!! We decided to just give in and be big dorks the whole time since that was what the weekend was all about. It made the whole experience a lot more fun.

We started our trip in Seattle, which was awesome because I've never been there. It was beautiful and everything I expected. We woke up to pounding rain the first day and by the time we made it into the city the sun was peeking through the clouds. We spent the first part of the day at Pike's marketplace. It was really fun and cool to see. We didn't get there early enough to see the fish being tossed around but we did see a lot of other interesting things there. Then we ate at the top of the Space Needle where the restaurant revolves slowly as you eat so you get a 360 degree view of the city...BEAUTIFUL!!

Gina, me, Keri, Julie and Priscilla at the Space Needle

After we were finished eating at the Space Needle we headed down to Port Angeles to eat at...you guessed it...Bella Italia!

All the businesses participated in the Twilight mania. It really made us feel less dorky knowing that everything around use was treating it all like it was real. (Don't worry, I know I'm a dork still)

Just like it had been cued, this wolf came wandering by while we were waiting outside the Bella Italia. Okay so it's an Alaskan Husky but it was too perfect!

The owner very graciously took a picture of us and some new found Twi-hard friends with the "wolf".

We all ate mushroom ravioli and cokes, except for Keri because she doesn't like mushrooms. Guess she's not as hard core as we are. *giggles*

After we ate at Bella Italia in Port Angeles we headed straight down to Forks and then on in to La Push baby. It was pitch black and midnight by the time we pulled up to our hotel "The Quillayute Oceanside Resort". When we woke up in the morning we were stunned to find we were right on First Beach. This is the view from our deck. We were literally a hundred or so feet from the beach! Anyone recognize those cliffs?

There was driftwood everywhere just like Stephenie Meyer describes in the book.

I couldn't pass up an opportunity to act like a goofball with Gina.

The locals were great and they directed us to the house that Stephenie Meyer based Jacob Black's house on. It was complete with a barn in the back and the owner's put a motorcycle out front in the spirit of the book.

Everyone capitalized and embraced the whole Twilight theme. Here is the treaty line at the edge of the indian reservation. (I told you, it doesn't feel so fake when you're there) *laughs*

Welcome to Forks everyone! We finally arrived.

You know, Edward really does prefer brunettes. *smiles, sigh*

Couldn't pass up a photo op with"Bella's truck"

This is the house they decided looks the most like Charlie and Bella Swan's house. The people who own it must be really good sports.

We stopped at the Forks Hospital and checked out Dr. Cullen's parking spot.

Fork's High School!

Gina and I acting dorky again, pretending to be hand cuffed at the Fork's police station.

Just an example of how everyone there took advantage of the Twilight craze. We thought this sign was funny. Get it?!

You never know what you'll run into in the forest.

We even built a fire that night on First Beach.

The day we went home it was so stormy the ocean looked and sounded angry. None of use could sleep that night because of the wind, rain and crashing waves. The picture doesn't do it justice.

Diet Woes

I am done!!! Done!! I officially quit this diet...ha ha. I didn't last long. I can't do it. It is too hard, at least for me. I am miserable, depressed and deprived. I am making an appointment today with a fertility specialist and I'll just go that route. Hey, at least I lasted 6 weeks on that diet so I know I gave it a good go. But in that time I never felt better, my energy level kept getting lower and lower. I love to eat and life is too short not to enjoy simple little pleasures like good food!

Day 31 of "The Diet"

Why hasn't it gotten any easier to eat healthy food? I want a Dr. Pepper and an egg mcmuffin soooooooooo bad this morning! It's been 31 days since my last Dr. Pepper and egg mcmuffin...anything but another salad.

*Fertility Update*

For the last 2 and a half years that I've been trying to get pregnant people have been telling me to "just relax" "don't think about it so much" "you're too stressed out and over thinking it". At first it was just really nice thoughts and advice but after a while of trying and not succeeding it started to become VERY irritating. Then it went beyond irritating to...If I hear one more person tell me to "just relax" I might rip their head off...but there is always one more person. As you can see by my previous post I had a very relaxing, kick back summer. Austin and I decided at the beginning of summer that we were going to take the pressure off ourselves and have a good time. I decided to heed the advice of so many knowledgeable (is that how you spell it) people and "not think about it". The result: after 5 carefree months (and no crying every time someone announced they were pregnant) no pregnancy, hmmmmmm. Maybe there is a little more going on in my body than everyday stressors.
After I let about 7 months go by from my surgery I contacted my OB/GYN. She told me there was nothing more they could do for me and referred me to the U of U for consultation on more invasive and aggressive options. For some reason I dragged my feet around about it for a couple of weeks just wishing with all my heart that I would magically get pregnant and not have to go through this part. I am not one of those people that can do this...I'm just not. But, after that time of the month came and went....again, I decided to just make the call and then...
I was visiting with a couple of friends one day and one of them asked me if I've ever considered seeing a homeopathic specialist. I said as a matter of fact I haven't but I'm certainly open to it. I was a vegetarian for 6 years a long time ago and I'm definitely open to the idea of natural healing. (Besides, at this point what did I have to lose?) We went to the guys seminar together with my sister-in-law. It was informative and interesting to say the least. He is an iridologist. For all of you who have no idea what that is, it's a person who specializes in the eye. They believe that inherent weaknesses and chronic conditions of the body manifest through your eyes. (There is that saying, "the eyes are the windows to the soul.") I've actually learned about this in school and know a few people personally who have been helped by iridologists and homeopathy. I'll just put this one fact out there...modern medicine does not believe in iridology or homeopathy. In fact they say they have proven it not to work and find it laughable...of course they do...they're not making any money if someone heals naturally. But once again I digress.
So I went to the seminar and had this guy take pictures of my eyes. Ten days later he e-mailed me the results and a very specific program of supplements and diet for me to do for the next 3 months. I am one month into it officially today and let me tell ya, it isn't easy. The diet is strict and I definitely cheat on it...come on, I NEED sugar once in a while, but from what I was eating 4 weeks ago to how I eat now, I've practically done a 180. I "thought" I ate pretty healthy before but I can't believe what I actually considered healthy. Like I said, it hasn't been easy. In fact, at times, it's been down right miserable. I used to drink a Dr. Pepper every morning since I wake up at 4:30 for work every day. I miss my Dr. Pepper. I'm also a sugar addict so even though I've pretty much given that up I allow myself cheats here and there. The hardest thing has been salt...which is somewhat surprising because I'm not a salt lover...but EVERYTHING has salt in it!!
Anyway, I won't bore you with anymore details about my diet. Just know that this is what I'm trying for the next six months. I have absolutely nothing to lose. If pregnancy doesn't occur then I'll be healthier and my body will be even more ready for in-vitro. I just wanted to let everyone know where I'm at. It continues to be a heart-breaking journey and I don't don't know what I would do without all of you. I love you very much and I can only get through my days because I know I have the love and support of so many friends and family.

SUMMER 2009!

I think the Black Eyed Peas summed it up best when they said: If we could party all night and sleep all day, and throw all of our problems away...my life would be eeeeaaasy!! Ok, so we partied all day and slept all night like normal people, but we had one fantastic summer of boating and playing. After Lake Havasu it rained for WEEKS and weeks....not joking, you all remember May and June right? The first nice weekend of the summer we went to our personal favorite place to boat, Starvation reservoir. Then for my birthday (and just for fun) we all headed to Lake Powell. The scenery was GORGEOUS and we really roughed it by camping out on the beach. We also took our annual trip to Texas with Austins family to hit Schlitterbaun (the largest water park in the country). In between it all we hit Utah Lake several times and enjoyed the warm water wakeboarding and surfing there.

Austin surfing the wave behind the boat in Starvation

Brandon and Cassies daughter, Bella, looks adorable pretending to drive the boat.

Brandon looking good jumping the wake.

Austin mastered jumping the wake this year, a feat that I only pulled off a couple of times and not even a picture to prove it :(

Cassie looking good on the wakeboard

Me trying to look good on the wakeboard but not really doing much at all.

...except crashing

Brandon, Cassie, Austin and I having a little bit of silly time by the fire.

The beginning of our Lake Powell trip

Ty pulling an air railey!!

Looks like the crash landing hurt!

Austin

Cam, Cassie, Michelle and Rachel

What up yo! LOL

Us girls really had a good time any chance we got

Cassie, Michelle, Rachel and Liza

Cam and Austin double surfing

We didn't get many pictures but our trip to Schlitterbaun in Texas was one of the highlights of the summer.

Morgan crossing the pool

We tried to get to Utah Lake as often as we could. We had a great time boating all summer and I can't wait for next year already!